Accident and Emergency
~ Unplanned pregnancy followed (nine months later) by unplanned birth.
~ The flight path.
Analgesia ~ Paracetamol suppository.
~ A Latin word for 'year'.
Appendix ~ At the end of a book.
~ Incision for pilonidal sinus.
Artery ~ The study of Painting.
Line ~ Route to the galleries.
Ascites ~ Failure to ensure pre-operative
marking of the site.
Aspergers ~ No nonsense bowel preparation.
Asphalt ~ Rectal problems.
Astigmatism ~ Not feeling left out
Asymmetry ~ Matching buttocks.
Ataxia ~ Mode of transport
with complimentary political commentary.
Atopic ~ The focus of the conversation.
~ We won the cup!
Auto-Eroticism ~ Got a thing about cars.
~ The back door of the cafeteria.
Barium ~ What undertakers do best.
Bag ~ Sharp-tongued woman.
Blood Test ~ Confirming paternity.
Bowel ~ A letter like A, E, I, O, or U.
Bronchopneumonia ~ Rodeo
rider's chest infection.
Bronchospasm ~ Rodeo Rider's range of movement
after being trampled.
Caesarean Section ~ A ritzy neighborhood in
Cannulation ~ Preserving food in vacuum-sealed containers.
~ Study of front-fastening knitwear.
Cat Scan ~ Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize ~ Made eye contact with her.
Charge Nurse ~ One with
a certificate in defibrillation.
Chest Drain ~ Breast reduction.
~ Arrest That Woman!
Clinical Director ~ Receptionist at the outpatient
Clotting Time ~ Time to assess that idiot.
A sheep dog.
Colonoscope ~ Device for checking punctuation.
~ Punctuation mark.
Comatose ~Peripheral vascular patients' pedal digits.
Fracture ~ Interesting fracture generating more interest.
Tomography ~ Scanning system for male cats.
Condom ~ An apartment
Congenital ~ Friendly.
Copulation ~ Sex between
two consenting policemen.
Cunnilingus ~ Can speak LOTS of languages.
~ The study of vision.
Cytotoxic ~ Can be irritating to the eyes.
protection ~ Condom.
Decibel ~ A tenth of a bell.
~ Scheme for removing traffic from urban areas.
Defecation ~ Mistaking
BS for the word of God.
Delivery Suite ~ Home delivery desserts service.
~ The study of Irish males.
Diabetic ~ Welshman obsessed with gambling.
~ Welsh patient keeping his family informed
Diamorphine ~ Narcotic
Dilate ~ To live long.
Dipsomaniac ~ Compulsive
Disarticulation ~ Difficulty speaking.
~ Waiting area for patients needing wound dressings.
Dislocation ~ Confusion
about where you are.
Distension ~ Righteous anger when disrespected.
Stand ~ No seating for idiots.
Drug Chart ~ Listing meds in order
Drug Dependency ~ Medicine that does what it says on