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Murphy's Nurses
Murphy's Laws, as seen by Nurses - "If something can go wrong, it will"

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Brown buttonThe patient furthest away from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses' station.
Brown buttonThe doctor with the worst handwriting and most original use of the English Language will be responsible for your most critical patient.
Brown button

You always remember "just one more thing" you need after you've gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into that isolation room.

Brown buttonThe correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less than the depth you just reached when you broke those ribs.
Brown buttonWhen you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.
Brown buttonIf you wear a new white uniform, expect to be thrown up on.
Corollary: Residents always poop on your brand new shoes.
Brown buttonWhen management smiles at you, be very, very afraid ...
Brown buttonStaffing will gladly send you three aides--but you have to float two of your RNs.
Brown buttonAs soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered.
Brown buttonMandatory meetings are always scheduled after you've had the night from hell and just want to go home to bed.
Brown buttonYou always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room. You always remember when you get back to the other end ...
Brown buttonDoctors only ask your name when the patient isn't doing well.
Brown buttonSuccess occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the boss is watching.
Brown buttonAs soon as you've ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three ambulances all with cardiac arrests!
Brown buttonFor every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Brown buttonTen seconds after you have finished giving a complete bed bath and changing the bed, the patient has a giant code brown.
Brown buttonIf a patient needs four pills, the packet will contain three.
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Every year, I go to and ask for their help in compiling a Nursing Humor page - Peopel say that UseNet is dead - I know better - they never let me down!

The Original Murphy's Nurses Compilation © 1998 - 2007 A. Heenan

2 May 2016 | Copyright Andrew Heenan | | Privacy