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Idiopathic jokes Jokes Without A Cause

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This page is for all the random Nursing and Health Jokes I can find (or you can send me) - once I get enough for a set, I'll give them their own page!
A sweet senior citizen came to the ER with difficulty breathing. She was a pleasure, but her husband was obnoxious and overly demanding. The triage nurse began the assessment, while her bitter half griped and complained the entire time.
She watched as the nurse typed in the dyspnea diagnosis: "Elderly patient presents with SOB".
"Wow!" she exclaimed with a grin. "You figured him out fast!"
Two nurses died and went to Heaven, where they were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter.
To the first, he asked, "So, what did you used to do? Why do you think you should be allowed to come into Heaven?"
"I was a nurse at a missionary hospital in the Amazon basin," she replied.
"For many years, I worked with a skeleton crew of doctors and nurses who tried to reach out to as many people across numerous tribes, with a hand of healing and peace, and with the message about God`s love."
"Very noble," said St. Peter. "You may enter."
To the next, he asked the same question, "So, what did you used to do?"
After some hesitation, she explained, "I was just a nurse at an HMO."
St. Peter pondered, and then said, "Ok, you may enter, too."
"For a moment I thought you weren`t going to let me in." said the nurse.
"You can come in," said St. Peter, "but you can only stay for three days."
What is the difference between a Nun and an Operating Room Nurse?
A Nun only serves one God.

What is the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?
The puppy stops whining when he grows up.

Did you hear about the nurse that died and went to hell?
It took her two weeks to realise she wasn't still at work!

Generously donated by nurses:

Thanks to Joshua Shaffer, Mortimer Schnerd, Bernadette, Les, Terri, Cecile Cherry, Denise, Kim, Lyndsey, Forjax

2 May 2016 | Copyright Andrew Heenan | | Privacy