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Nurse's Dictionary

 A to DE to LM to PR to Z 

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E.M.T ~ Nothing in it.
Endotracheal Tube ~ Currently out of stock.
Enema ~ [1]Not a friend. [2] Rapper's mother.
Episiotomy ~ Usually avoidable surgery to make the doctor feel better.
Exfoliated ~ catheter removed.

Factor 8 ~ 8th qualifying heats for the X-factor.
Fallopian tube
~ Part of a television set.
Fetus ~ A character in "Gun Smoke".
Fluid Balance ~ Carrying drinks across the bar without spilling a drop.
Florence Nightingale ~ Italian stopover marred by stormy weather.

Ganglion ~ Big cat with long limbs and poor coordination.
~ Relief of wind.
~ German illusionists.
~ A soldier.
Glasgow Coma Scale ~ Scottish alcohol intake ratings.
Glazed Expression ~ Occupational disease of window cleaners.

Hangnail ~ Coat hook.
Heroin ~ Nurse who can face another shift without narcotic support.
Hernia ~ She's too close for comfort.
Hickman Line ~ Railway used by out of town yokels.
High Dependency Unit ~ Facility for addiction to extreme mountaineering.
H.O.H ~ A prostitute.
Homeopathy ~ Sympathetic to the challenges faced by the gay community.
Hospital Porter ~ Health service's own-brand ale.
Human Resources ~ bank for transplantible organs.
Hydration ~ What anorexics do with their food.
Hypotension ~ Not tight enough.
Hypertension ~ [1] Too tight. [2] A period of high anxiety.
Hysterectomy ~ Removal of overexcited woman.

Impotent ~ Distinguished, well known.
Influenza ~ Occupational disease of chimney sweeps.
INR ~ Me and she.
Iritis ~ Grammatically-challenged claim of infallibility.
Iron Defficiency ~ Letting the laundry pile up again.
Irritable Hip ~ Frustrated flower child
IVI ~ Climbing plant that favours walls and ancient structures.

Joules ~ Someone’s name.

Kg ~ A container of beer.

Labor Pain ~ Getting hurt at work.
Laparoscope ~ Instrument for detecting Eskimaux. Sorry, Innuits.
Lens ~ It belongs to Leonard.
Luer Lock ~ Washroom security device.

 A to DE to LM to PR to Z 


2 May 2016 | Copyright Andrew Heenan | | Privacy