Malabsorption ~ Stalking Malcolm.
~ Everyone on parade seems to be called Malcolm.
Mammogram ~ Urgent
message to mother.
Manometer ~ Device for measuring masculinity.
~ Excision of kangaroo.
Menstrual cycle ~ Has three wheels.
~ Farmer asserting property rights over his crops.
~ Digging for coal.
Minor Surgery ~ Pediatric operations.
~ Poor manual handling technique.
Misuse of Drugs ~ Substance abuse
by unmarried women.
Monocyte ~ Blind in one eye.
A higher offer.
MRSA ~ Mr A's wife.
Nasal Speculae ~ Spectacles
without earpieces; Pince-nez.
Neurotic ~ One who builds castles in the
air (see Psychotic).
Nitrates ~ Cheaper than day rates.
~ Was aware of.
Nurses Uniform ~ They all look equally underpaid.
~ Where health care workers are reared.
O.D. ~ Something strange.
~ Unable to get to the opera as often as you'd like to.
~ Cutting out unwanted flowers.
Organic ~ Church musician.
~ A person who fainted.
Pacemaker ~ Time and motion study on a cardiac
Pap Smear ~ A fatherhood test.
Parenterally ~ A doting
mom or dad.
Parenteral Feeding ~ Involving the parents at meal times.
~ patient living with pathology (qv).
Pathology ~ Counting the
cracks on a paved surface.
Pediatric ~ Passing urine in a hat to amuse
Pelvis ~ Cousin to Elvis.
Pelvic Floor Exercises
~ Keeping fit with Elvis-style dancing.
Platelets ~ For pateints with
Postoperative ~ A letter carrier.
~ Understaffed departments.
Private Hospital ~ Where soldiers go for
Pronation ~ A patriot.
Protein ~ In favor of
Psittacosis ~ Pneumonia resulting from a sedentary lifestyle.
~ One who collects the rent (see Neurotic; Psychotic).
~ One who lives in castles in the air (See Neurotic; Psychiatrist).
Pubic hair ~ A type of wild rabbit.
P-wave ~ Commode required.
Pyrexia ~ Uncontrollable urge to set things on fire.